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You want to create intrigue and stimulate desire. You want to maintain the sexual relationship; You want to try more and/or different

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things with them (as opposed to someone else) This is a quality issue, not a quantity issue-that's another situation topic. Tell me about a fantasy you've yet to try. Either way, if your partner does not respond the way you'd like, don't take it personally.

There may be problems that have nothing to

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do with you. What if I tell you that you make me want to do very naughty things. If you tell

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me a sexy secret, I'll tell you one right back. This is not a situation that can be fixed over night. This is the hard part because everyone is a bit self-conscious when it comes to their sexual abilities and thus, anything you say is

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likely to feel a little threatening.

I want to take our climax to new levels. Be the change you want to see.. I know that we have yet to reach our sexual potential. Make it a game where the goal isn't to win but to have fun - you're on the same team.

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doesn't mean that the person doesn't want change...just may have a more difficult time initiating the change. You both aren't keeping you're A-game up with each other. They

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may become sullen or defensive when presented with the hard news that they're not cutting it in bed. So you have to figure out a way to say it that doesn't make them dry or shrivel up, get defensive, walk way, or shut it down completely. Do not say, "I'm bored." They may not be as experienced. Handwritten message In person (after a couple of drinks...to keep the

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automatic

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defense reaction at a minimum) Text message A gift in a box, with a handwritten note. Do not use words that place blame Do not create ultimatums The automatic response is for the recipient to take it personally.

You may (or may not) actually reach orgasm, but you don't get excited anymore

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thinking about being with them. You've gotten so familiar with each other and comfortable that sex is no longer a priority. Given the fact that you're the one who wants more from your partner, you have the uncomfortable task of making your needs known in a

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non-threatening way. Include new accoutrements (toys, fabrics, food, people) or make memories in new places.

And with you I want to explore more sexually. The key is to emphasize your confidence in their ability to meet your needs. If skill is the problem, there's plenty

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to find on the internet and in Barnes and Nobles. Your

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sexual activity has become predictable, average, feels like maintenance, and more often than not-TOO BRIEF!. Remember, patience, compassion and modeling. It takes consistent (soft and sexy) suggestions to shift the expectations Perhaps resistance at first; but if demonstrate that this is not a unilateral criticism, and that you want to step it up with them (and them only-unless

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you both decide you want to invite a guest or two) You may be making all the effort for change in the beginning.

They may be shy; you may be shy. I want to feel your breath on the back of my neck, even after

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you've long gone. The key in the delivery method is to keep

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it intimate.

You like the person-it could be your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend with benefits, booty call, casual partner...whomever. If you hit this hard, their insecurity should be short lived. Voice note (like a text) with the Blackberry As a whisper in the ear over dinner, while driving...or

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any place that's not home to build up anticipation.

And rightly so, and make you have to defend yourself-thus getting off topic. For example, "I have a surprise for you" written

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note (not typed) in a box as a gift, lying on top of silk scarf. Buy some books and karlens them aloud. Hopefully eventually...AMAZING SEX!!. Also, keep in mind that some people have been mistreated sexually.

You're Freakin' Bored With the Sex You're Getting

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So, here's a situation where you want to tell your lover that you are totally bored with sex-specifically, the sex you have when you're with them. This isn't supposed to be a break up...just a step up. Expect it and treat it with compassion.

Whatever it is you want to explore, you want to do it with them. Make it fun and something you do together. I feel like I haven't tapped in to my passionate and raw side. Are you up for trying something new. Offer your vulnerability and invite them to join.